well, last night joel was out with the boys for "man's night" and it was time for me to finally do it: i cleaned up Rhema's room and put all her things away. well, most of her things. some things were easier than others like the things she never got to wear or use. but the things that she used daily were pretty tough to put away. the closet is cleaned out, and the crib drawer too. the bottom two drawers of her dresser are cleaned out now, but i just couldn't bare to put away that top drawer. when you open it up, it still smells like her! so i'm going to wait on that...i just need to get a little bit more momentum.
it's such a thing i have been dreading. almost as if it's one step closer of putting Rhema out of our lives forever. sometimes i feel like if it's put away, people will forget, but then i realize how could they? and we surely won't and that's all that really matters!
then you have the flip side to it: i was so excited to be preparing for our new little baby boy! (name still not being revealed!) i was able to hang up the things we've started collecting for him, and some things that belonged to Rhema that were yellow, white, and green....well, we're able to use them for him, too. so it was just a mixture of emotions, but a much needed time for me. just to sit in her room and look at all the things we hoped for her; expected for her and finally take the next step in moving forward. our intention is to put just a few things up in the nursery of hers when baby boy gets here, just so he can get to know his big sister in the smallest way:-)
